This is just something the Lord shared with me today. I was reading Job Chapter 38 and He started talking to me. Perhaps it will help you a little on your journey with Him.
In Job 38 the Lord starts to answer or ask Job questions about what kind of authority does he have to question God on why his family, livestock and body had to die or suffer. God answered in the form of lots of questions. After all God was the one who made the heavens and the earth, the creation and man and so He has divine authority of ALL.
"When you create your own world Job, get back to me with your questions!"
Now God is God, and we are not. But though He's is the all-powerful Creator, He also has compassion. Unlike Job's assumption, God did not crush him or multiply his wounds. Rather, He restored his wealth and relationships. Even in the darkest trial, He is still full of compassion (see Lamentations 3:22).
We cannot command God to stoop to our demands and give an account of Himself. But we can bring Him our pain and problems before Him in submission to His perfect plan. God doesn't promise us answers, but He does promise His unending love, compassion, faithfulness, and salvation. To remind yourself (and myself) of our great and good God, sing the beautiful hymn, "Great is Thy Faithfulness" as part of your devotional or after dinner devotions today.
Even in our darkest sorrow, "morning by morning, new mercies" we see from His loving hand.
(above from Moody Bible Church's devotional "Today in the Word").
Even through the last year and especially through the last few months our family continues to question the whys and what ifs of Brendon's sickness and death. God has it all ultimately in control and it is in His hands. This is a tough concept to handle for me as I am a fixer of the problems and I could not fix this one. I really need the above passage and reading of Job today. Thanks Lord for the reminder.
After reading this we went and had breakfast at Panera - then did our math and spelling at the restaurant, just for a refreshing change. The Lord showed me to have more fun and unplanned outings to increase our joy and fun times together! I did that and was obedient and was rewarded with fun and laughter too.
Have a good rest of your day too.