Sunday, July 11, 2010

Change, change and More Change

It has been a very busy month for us. We have experienced lots of running around to swimming and tennis lessons, park dates with our Homeschool friends, a fabulous ride on Thomas the Tank Engine in Connersville, In and also some changes.

The church that we were attending is now closed. The pastor felt led to close the church down for various reasons. It has been a difficult two weeks adjusting to the thought of not seeing folks who we have become friends with over the last 3 years. This church is also the last place where Brendon attended services before he passed away. The thought of not being in touch regularly is difficult as that is a way for us to remember Brendon. People say they will never forget him but I do know from experience that does not last.

My husband and I are on a new journey now to find a church home which is a family orientated church. To us, that means a place where the children are in the service with us and not separated. I believe the children are supposed to be with their parents as their teachers and monitor what they are receiving from others. That is hard to do if you are not in the same room as the child!

We have been a family that is careful what our children watch on TV, Video and DVD, and where they go on the Internet. I have noticed my children are aware of more of the sin that is around them than I thought. My oldest has pointed out that David and Bathsheba definitely did the wrong thing before getting married. Now it looks like I am going to have to look into some early adolescence counselling and training.

My grief journey is very slow at the moment. I go over one hump and back over two. I know I am progressing but ever so slowly and then I get frustrated with that. I have made a start on the book that I am writing, its on paper for right now and will transfer to the computer sometime. Yes I do know that heaven is going to be manifested soon and so will be the opportunity to see my child there, but I am living every day with a huge gap in my home that I am still getting used to.

We are due to have a family vacation sometime soon, whilst also praying in anticipation for Walt's step-mom who is going through the final stages of fighting ovarian cancer. We do not know when she will pass on but we are thinking it may be sooner than we thought. I do not like attending funerals at the moment but at least we have talked a few times on the phone and she seems to be okay. Some days are harder for her than others. She does live on her own. Please pray for Pat that she would not have pain but that when it comes time she would recognize the Lord's angel sent for her.

All these changes are taking place during a very hot and sweltering summer through which we continue to homeschool and enjoy the outdoor activities later in the day or earlier in the morning. I miss my work with the Homeschool crew but know that is was for a season, just like our church, and we are moving into a new stage of our lives.

My desire for the rest of this year is to not get caught up in the necessary evil of everyday tasks but to enjoy each day for itself. My boys would love it if I would not be so sticky to the schedule...especially on those cool summer days we could play outside all day. We look forward to a week of VBS with friends coming up and no school for those days. Thank you for your continued prayers over our family and our ever changing hearts.


Heidi said...

We've been where you are, as far as looking for a new church. It's not fun and it's not easy. I hope you can find a place to settle and feel comfortable soon.

I also understand the grief process. Though I haven't lost a child, and can't imagine that grief, I'm still grieving my best friend who passed away in March.

my3sonz said...

Thank you for your transparency Juls. It helps me to know how to pray for you. I know God has you in the palm of His hand and holds every tear. Hugs

Jill said...

Praying for you all the time, Julie. I keep pictures of B in a folder on my desktop and will continue to hold on to those memories of your precious gift of a son every time I look at them. I love you dearly and miss you already. Praying that this season of change will only bring your family closer together.