Life after Husband's Heavenly Appointment.

Dear Friends and Readers of my blog,

I have been noticeably absent for some time. My precious husband went to be with Jesus in November. We journeyed through Thanksgiving, Christmas and the first few months of the New Year slowly. It has been a difficult, joyous, relief, anger, bitterness, confusion and much much more emotional roller-coasters too. Please excuse my English grammar here.

I will update our journey through the maze of grief more as days go by as well as how to continue homeschooling in the middle of and future of this family grief and chaos. Our lives are a permanent chaos BUT living and practicing Grace with each other and outsiders of our home is something we are learning to do daily.

Thanks for reading.

Sincerely

Julie

Family Crisis again

For those who are wondering why I have not updated in forever on here it is due to the fact that my husband's cancer has got a lot worse. He is more than Stage 4 now and is on palliative pain medicine and care basically by a home care nurse.

He is waiting on a new drug which is ready to ship to us but my husband has jaundice really bad. He is having difficulties using the bathroom too and the plumbing is just not working right. We are still homeschooling a little bit each day through the situation.

Please go to this link if you want to stay abreast of the situation. Thanks.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brendonknight


Enjoy the fall
Julie

Can you Cope with Crisis?

Today and this week I am struggling. Struggling with the inability to do all the things that I am supposed to do in my job, as a wife and Homeschool Mom. My heart is definitely floating outside my body today.

I do not get on my knees too often, (but choose to pray whilst being active), but it seems that I need to do this very often recently. Sometimes I end up taking a nap when in that position too. Don't laugh, or smile - yes you have probably done that once or twice too.

I am grasping with the how, why us again, why now, wait until my boys are grown up, can I handle this all now. That's right, it is not up to us to handle. Life is a journey sometimes short and sometimes long but mostly just right in length. When I think of beautiful places , usually they involve mountains, waterfalls, deserts, hills, lots of busyness of nature criss-crossing each other. Well I think life is like that for us too.

Crisis has been a part of my life for at least 7 years now. I mean major life happenings. Firstly the diagnosis with cancer in our son, then for 2 years fighting that with him, then grief for a very, very long time; and now cancer again. All the "what if's " hang in the air unspoken each day between my husband and I.  Physically it is difficult to hold each other arm in arm as it is uncomfortable for him. Being able to comfort each other emotionally is hard too - as I'm sure you can imagine.

I ask God to heal and to do that miracle right before our eyes and then I think, well maybe it will take a while. Do I now have enough faith or belief? Yes I do. I know God can do this. He has done it before and He can do it again.  God you are not moving fast enough, well, some days He just does not do that. Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit wrap me in Your arms and strengthen me. I am so thankful for the Word of God, it comforts , strengthens and lifts my spirit to rejoice.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above Ye Heavenly Hosts,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost."

The doxology is always a comfort to me and a reminder of so much we need to be thankful for. Share with me in the comments how you cope with continuous crisis?
Julie

Treatment options Changed Again

My husbands scans did not come back free and clear, and obviously we knew that would happen too. His tumor is the size of a baseball or softball now. There is however no spread of cancer anywhere else in the body.

Here is an update however on our Caringbridge site for those who are really interested and have not already seen this update through Facebook.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brendonknight/journal

I am reading Mrs Ann Voskamp's blog daily as there is so much in there to keep me turning to my Bible and reading what God's way is. The Bible not the blog are keeping me hanging onto Jesus.  (http://www.aholyexperience.com/ )

I do believe in healing and that God's word works. He has healed before and He can do it again.

Believe with us for the Lord's mighty hand to reach into Walt's body and heal thoroughly whether it be slow or instantly. Thank you for loving us from afar dear friends.

Be blessed and worship in the Lord's house on Sunday if you can.

Julie

New Treatment Plan

My husband begins his new Clinical Trial today at the local hospital downtown. He will only have to go for infusions every 2 or 3 weeks depending on which drug he gets first. The trial is for 6 months. He is unable to continue on any supplements, oils or any herbal medicines.

Please lift our family up in prayer at this time. Thank you.

This is short and sweet due to today being a learning day in our home.

Love you sweetheart. Praying for you too.

J

Treatment Changes, and Life Goes On

My dear sweet husband has had a rough summer once again.  He was progressing nicely on his alternative medicine therapy and diet, which helped him lose 40 pounds and then whammo.

After some weeks his tumors decided to grow back. This has saddened our hearts somewhat but we have not stopped looking for answers. He is now signed up to do a Clinical trial through IU Health in Indiana. He got the last spot open for this particular trial and so we believe that was God's hand. We are sad to have to stop all the alternative medicines as we know they do work so well. I, as his executive chef now have to figure out ways of feeding him what those supplements were giving him, but in his food. This is proving harder than I though. He does not eat as much as he used to either.

He will be monitored carefully for changes in tumor size and/or health all the way through. We are praying the medicines work like they are supposed to and reduce the tumor size so he continue on the trial and continue to fight.  He will be able to work through this process too and only has to have a few days off per month for the visits to the hospitals to receive the meds. 

We will be staying in the USA instead of visiting family overseas for our vacation this year. We had planned a trip to the UK if  possible but seems we will have to save that for when he is well. Believe with us for that healing that we so believe in.

Thank you for praying for our family too when you remember.  Pray for peace for our boys too please as this disruptive summer has caused them to be worried and fearful too at times.

Our God is an awesome God. 
Blessings to you and yours tonight and this week.
Julie

Cancer Therapy

Thank you for praying for  our family over the past week. My husband has completed one week of therapy and is tired. That is not the only side effect but seems to be the one most prevalent.

He has had some stomach issues with new medicines to take at home and his appetite seems to be okay. He does not eat very much in the hot summer days anyway so maybe this is good for him too. Please pray for him to not be too concerned but to be at peace. There is some swelling going on in the scar issue from his surgery where the melanoma nodules were removed from. We await for an MRI to see about that and exactly what is going on under the skin.

I am basically very busy and trying to keep it altogether. Ha like you can do that as a Homeschooling Mom with 2 rambunctious boys. Pray for peace in the walls of our home which is  my husband's sanctuary after a day at work and having IV Therapy.

Thanks
Julie

Praying for my Husband

I wanted to just update everyone on what is happening in Walt’s life and body.

Walt is undergoing 15 days (on weekdays) of IV Therapy at his Doctor’s offices during this month. On the weekends he will be taking extra supplements along with all the others he already swallows, and this will enable the activity begun through the IV’s to continue. He is taking Salicinium/Orasal which is a medicine that targets fermenting cells.(usually cancer cells).  It also deprives the cancer cells of the sugars they so desperately want to grow and spread. Here is a link for anyone who wants to read more about it. The non-cancerous cells also adapt to using ketones for energy on Walt’s Ketogenic diet. Cancer cells are unable to use fat to make energy for themselves to grow, only sugars and carbs.  His diet is very, very high in fat and extremely low in carbs and no sugars.

(http://www.naturodoc.com/orasal.htm )

People with cancer should not be eating sugars or carbohydrates if they want to get better (IMO). I am learning more and more about this through this journey with Walt.

Please pray for him to succeed with working and doing this therapy in the mornings before going out into the heat to deliver mail.  Some side effects can be lethargy and tiredness, which he already experiences just being on a continual detoxification diet. It takes the body a long time sometimes to get sick and so it may be a while before we see positive changes on a scan for example.

Pray for our family to adapt to him being so very tired, and for the boys to be more considerate, for Walt to be able to continue to eat and still have energy to have fun with us. Pray for me to be patient in the middle of a continually changing situation.  As most of you know we have been down this road before. We are challenged once again.  Pray for the medicine or muti (African word) to work and boost his immune system whilst it is cleaning up the blood.  We believe for blood tests to give us good results next time we have them done.

Thank you for praying for us. He is Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Rapha, Jehovah Tsidkenu, the Creator of Heaven and Earth.  Pray for us to walk in His peace.

Julie, Walt and the boys Daniel, Andrew and ‘Angel Brendon.’

Summer Days are Here Again

How did summer get here so fast, and we are almost mid-way through June. I have not had much time to relish these warm days. I continue to spring clean this little abode we have, trying to rid us of books we no longer use, or read, and toys that have been outgrown. Of course some of these are precious and have been used by 3 different boys and some belong to our Angel boy so we have a tendency to hold on to them longer.

How are we doing? Well that is hard to say. As I listen to Ann Voskamp's blog music play in the background I would say we are okay. We are surviving in the middle of the storm. We do not know how my husband's cancer is slowing down or growing as it will be a few months before we can test again. Blood tests for markers were done today but it will be a few weeks before we have results.  Our family life is continually adjusted or disrupted due to new eating routines  and diets being changed almost on a daily basis here. I have to monitor how many carbs, fats and proteins he inputs in to his body and how much liquid goes down each day. To take supplements without being able to swallow them is a feat in itself. We may have found the answers in a protein shake which has low carbs. Praying this works on a continual basis and the patient does not become bored with it.

We celebrated 6 years of life with our youngest son who is so full of energy it is hard to keep pace with him. He has a smile and giggle that will melt your heart. It is hard to imagine that the days he came in to this world were so filled with turmoil. Car accidents, stem cell transplants and giving birth don't all go together but the Knights seem to do things like this.

We are trying to stay away from a summer full of unnecessary activities to remain focused on being a family without the constant pressure of school every day too. Visits to friends and celebrating friendship with other families is perhaps something on our agenda. My hubby will be doing some treatments towards the end of the summer and we are praying the Lord uses these medicines and others he is currently taking to continue to heal his body.

As a mom and wife I am struggling internally with many things. Each day is a gift I know that I should not take for granted but some days I can barely focus on me for all the 'stuff;' and things that need to be accomplished.  Spending time in prayer at the feet of my Saviour should be first but often is not, and often comes in the middle of the night when I can't sleep. My Bible seems to call me so much and then I am called away and it never gets completed. I need you Jesus to come to my rescue, and to satisfy my soul and spirit more than anything else. We in this world of crazies need Him to be Lord of all. Pray for me to focus on His will for our family, and to welcome interruption or crisis and not to wiggle and squirm when life is hard. Pray for my husband to want to eat exactly right so that he can remain cancer free. Thank you.

I am so longing for more of Him each day. I'm thanking Him He has provided a way for us to pay our bills, and to survive for right now. All glory,  blessing and honor and power and praise be unto Him. He is Creator, King of Kings, Lord of Lords and our Saviour. He is....

Life is not fair but our God is good. Goodnight.

Contemplating Cancer Treatment - Why is it There?

Husband , Best Friend, Daddy, Son and Brother. 

Cancer. Recurrence. Metastasis  This can be a scary time for a man, a family, especially one with small children already scarred by this disease. We took time out today to go over numerous tests with W's integrative health physician,  and still more to peruse later this week. God has a plan for this family whether it be for many years ahead or a shorter space of time. We do not know how long he has for each of our lives but He knows. He assures us we are in the palm of His hand.

Yes He sends His angels to watch over us, the Holy Spirit to guide us. We need to be still long enough to listen and to wait for that direction.  Brendon saw angels in our home so we know they are still around. 

We have so much information to learn in a short space of time so we are asking Him for wisdom and direction. To change our ways of eating is so hard for most people in this country. To start off right from birth would be so much better for everyone. To encourage others to eat better is good too but not to force them. I have never had issues with eating healthy as in a Third World Nation where I grew up,  it was easy. I did not have too many choices for boxed and canned 'delicacies' - if you could call them that. Those were our 'treat' foods.  Thank you Lord for that teaching my parents instilled in  me to eat that way. 

Choose wisely what you eat yourself and for your children as much as you can. 

Pray for my husband and children that they will be willing to adapt to our new way of life whatever that may be and whatever change that may involve for the dynamics of our home. Thank you so very much.  Pray for many years of family life and many places to witness of God's blessing in our lives. 

We will continue to update you when we know more.  Pray for W to find some other kind of work in the Postal Service he can do to keep him occupied. 

Thank you and thank you

Nutrition 101: Choose Life!

This e-book ‘Nutrition 101! Choose Life’ is a goldmine for me to review. There is so much information in this e-book that has been compiled by Debra Raybern, Sera Johnson, Laura and Karen Hopkins. These authors have learned from life and from studying their favorite topic which is nutrition and how it can benefit our bodies.
The book is divided up into 6 units of 4 chapters each. The main topics cover the Brain; the Digestive System; Respiratory, Olfactory and Visual Systems; Skeletal and Muscular system, Cardiovascular and Immune System; and the Endocrine system and emotions.
We managed to cover 3 chapters in Unit 1 about the Brain, Brain Foods and the Nervous System and how it works. My son was not very interested in me reading out all this information to him that he did not understand. We looked at the pictures and I explained some of the processes of the brain to him in easier terminology. We especially had fun drawing out his nervous system on a large life size body image of him (see pics with this post above and below).
　

After the main body of the e-book where the student has numerous experiments and food activities to participate in and which cement the information they learned, Appendix A through EE reveals information and facts on foods. A Choose Life Food Pyramid is included. I printed this out and placed it on the fridge so my son knows what he is allowed to eat.

Daily menu samples are there to read through; sample shopping lists; alkaline and acidity food lists; how to bake bread; some brief ideas on how to use Essential Oils; Natural Remedy cleaning solutions; the importance of sleep to our bodies; how to counteract cancer before it grows in our bodies; how microwaves affect our food nutrients; the 40 best foods to eat; enzyme supplementation and many, many more.

We tried out 3 recipes Guacamole (Avocado is the brain food), Greek salad(using olive oil and olives for brain food), and Potato Salad (Flax seed Oil -brain food). They were all delicious but our favorite was the Greek Salad. Everything tasted perfect and the olives just gave it the right amount of tartness and spunk to the salad.

This e-book would make an outstanding science, Home Economics, or life skills course for children from ages 10 and upwards. I feel that my son was a little too young to comprehend all the scientific names. He did like the chance to taste the recipes and helped out a little. He is not a willing helper in the kitchen!

When I first received this book I sat reading it for hours and gasping in awe at the amount of information included. This is the kind of help I needed 18 months ago when my son’s brain cancer returned. I am going to have to keep reviewing this book and print it out when I get a chance to.
The selling price for the e-book on CD ROM is currently $79.95. A copy of the printed book is $99.95. A combo price of the printed book and CD-ROM is $129.95. I would highly recommend you start saving now if you want to change the way you and your family eat. Yes you can just start eating more vegetables and fruits, but do you know what kind to eat for what symptoms or health conditions. These ladies have packed the information into this book and done all the hard work for you already. I definitely will be purchasing more of these in the future and teaching as many Moms and Dads as I can with the help of ‘Nutrition 101 Choose Life’. What I have learned from our journey with cancer in our son Brendon’s life, using nutrition and supplements and Essential Oils is all covered in this book.

If anyone you know is facing a life- threatening illness I would suggest they look on the website for more information on this book. Please go to http://www.healthyhomesllc.com/index.html . I can not say enough about this book and curriculum and feel sure I will be utilizing this for many years to come and my son will learn from it what is the absolute correct way to be eating for his future. Please click over to the Homeschool Crew review blog using the button the right side of the page to view other's comments on this fantastic book now on offer.

Chemicals used in farmers fields to avoid at all costs!!

I have to include this article as I received the links to these from www.Organicvalley.com.
This kind of information is foremost on my mind as the farmer we used to buy 'natural' beef from used this weed killer on his farm too. Brendon was exposed to this through his meat and eggs 2 years before he was diagnosed!. I thought I was buying a natural product. He understands now why I don't buy meat and eggs from him any longer! Please I am warning you of the dangers of buying your meat and eggs from the store, and from some farmers. Look them in the eye and ask if they use soy in their feed or Roundup on their farm in any place! If so avoid their product - it will affect your children's growth and health too. Watch what kind of much corn product is in your cereal, baking powder, cornstarch, and processed meat and grain products. You are exposed every time you eat these especially in restaurants too! the weekkiller may give the farmer a higher yield but it is at your expense!!!

I am trying to help you avoid your child getting sick like mine did and then there is nothing you can do about it!

Thanks Julie

The way we eat is trashing the fragile conditions that make human life possible
www.grist.org work work September 02, 2009
In the ongoing debate about whether sustainable agriculture can “feed the world,” it’s important not to lose sight of what industrial agriculture is doing to ecosystems—both in specific areas and on a grand scale.
Producing and distributing lots and lots of calories, leveraged by fossil fuel and synthetic fertilizers and poisons, may solve certain short-term problems; but the practice also creates long-term ones that won’t be easily solved.
In June, a study emerged showing that so-called inert ingredients in Roundup, Monsanto’s widely used flagship herbicide, can kill human cells even at low levels—“particularly embryonic, placental and umbilical cord cells,” reports Scientific American. This is an herbicide that’s used on virtually all of our nation’s corn and soy fields, covering tens of millions of acres of cropland. (It’s also widely used by landscapers and on home lawns.)
Then there was the recent atrazine imbroglio. For years, the EPA has been assuring the public that the highly toxic herbicide, still widely used in the Corn Belt, wasn’t showing up in drinking water in worrisome levels. Turns out that was a lie, as some excellent muckraking by the Huffington Post Investigative Fund revealed. Atrazine exposure has been strongly associated with reproductive health maladies, including a rise in hermaphroditism among frog populations.

Popular herbicide more deadly to liver cells than its active chemical alone
www.environmentalhealthnews.org work work August 20, 2009
Very low doses of some types of the herbicide Roundup can disrupt human liver cell function; the formulations' toxicity may be tied to their "inactive" ingredients rather than the active weed-killing ingredient glyphosate.
French scientists report that a number of Roundup formulations tested at very dilute concentrations can alter hormone actions and cause human liver cells to die within 24 hours of treatment.
The toxicity of some of the formulations was independent of how much glyphosate – the active herbicide in Roundup – they contained, suggesting it is other "inert" ingredients that may alone – or in combination with each other and/or the weedkiller – assault the cells. This study's results are similar to prior studies – as reported in a recent Environmental Health News article – that find human embryo cells are affected more by the Roundup formulations and an inert ingredient than by the active ingredient.

Balloon Release for Childhood Cancer Awareness Day

Well yesterday went off so well. We gathered at the cemetery where Brendon is buried and after placing an angel on his tombstone and his picture next to it we went about setting up the tags to attach to the balloon strings. this is where the fun began. Well all my dozen balloons had got tangled together in the back of the van on the way there. We spent twenty minutes trying to untangle the mess and attach them together. Moral of the story is make the stings shorter or cut them off and then attach the tags.

A friend of mine who I recently met Justine had the tags made on her home computer. There was a little pic of Brendon and then his website address and some places to send money to support for cancer research for children. On the bottom of the cards were lines with which to write a message to Brendon. She did such a great job and I am so thankful to her and her family who took time out to help us out.

Folks came out for the release I have not seen in person for ages, I was so blessed that at least 6 families and their children came to bless us with their support. I will post pics later today both here and on Caringbridge.

Homeschool is progressing oh so slowly. My oldest never does seem in the mood to learn so we just take it one day at a time. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers as we could feel your support.