Treatment Changes, and Life Goes On

My dear sweet husband has had a rough summer once again.  He was progressing nicely on his alternative medicine therapy and diet, which helped him lose 40 pounds and then whammo.

After some weeks his tumors decided to grow back. This has saddened our hearts somewhat but we have not stopped looking for answers. He is now signed up to do a Clinical trial through IU Health in Indiana. He got the last spot open for this particular trial and so we believe that was God's hand. We are sad to have to stop all the alternative medicines as we know they do work so well. I, as his executive chef now have to figure out ways of feeding him what those supplements were giving him, but in his food. This is proving harder than I though. He does not eat as much as he used to either.

He will be monitored carefully for changes in tumor size and/or health all the way through. We are praying the medicines work like they are supposed to and reduce the tumor size so he continue on the trial and continue to fight.  He will be able to work through this process too and only has to have a few days off per month for the visits to the hospitals to receive the meds. 

We will be staying in the USA instead of visiting family overseas for our vacation this year. We had planned a trip to the UK if  possible but seems we will have to save that for when he is well. Believe with us for that healing that we so believe in.

Thank you for praying for our family too when you remember.  Pray for peace for our boys too please as this disruptive summer has caused them to be worried and fearful too at times.

Our God is an awesome God. 
Blessings to you and yours tonight and this week.
Julie

Praying for my Husband

I wanted to just update everyone on what is happening in Walt’s life and body.

Walt is undergoing 15 days (on weekdays) of IV Therapy at his Doctor’s offices during this month. On the weekends he will be taking extra supplements along with all the others he already swallows, and this will enable the activity begun through the IV’s to continue. He is taking Salicinium/Orasal which is a medicine that targets fermenting cells.(usually cancer cells).  It also deprives the cancer cells of the sugars they so desperately want to grow and spread. Here is a link for anyone who wants to read more about it. The non-cancerous cells also adapt to using ketones for energy on Walt’s Ketogenic diet. Cancer cells are unable to use fat to make energy for themselves to grow, only sugars and carbs.  His diet is very, very high in fat and extremely low in carbs and no sugars.

(http://www.naturodoc.com/orasal.htm )

People with cancer should not be eating sugars or carbohydrates if they want to get better (IMO). I am learning more and more about this through this journey with Walt.

Please pray for him to succeed with working and doing this therapy in the mornings before going out into the heat to deliver mail.  Some side effects can be lethargy and tiredness, which he already experiences just being on a continual detoxification diet. It takes the body a long time sometimes to get sick and so it may be a while before we see positive changes on a scan for example.

Pray for our family to adapt to him being so very tired, and for the boys to be more considerate, for Walt to be able to continue to eat and still have energy to have fun with us. Pray for me to be patient in the middle of a continually changing situation.  As most of you know we have been down this road before. We are challenged once again.  Pray for the medicine or muti (African word) to work and boost his immune system whilst it is cleaning up the blood.  We believe for blood tests to give us good results next time we have them done.

Thank you for praying for us. He is Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Rapha, Jehovah Tsidkenu, the Creator of Heaven and Earth.  Pray for us to walk in His peace.

Julie, Walt and the boys Daniel, Andrew and ‘Angel Brendon.’

Missing Your Loved One at This Time of Year

During the holiday season is a fun time for most people. Those however who have lost someone very close to them in the past few years may not think so. It is a hard time as we remember what that loved one like to do over Thanksgiving and Christmas Days.

Our middle son Brendon loved Christmas. (He's in the stripy shirt). Thanksgiving was a holiday he never really enjoyed as the food was not to his liking. He spent most of the Thanksgivings he can actually remember in the hospital or unable to eat. I guess that was only two really. For me not being born in America, it kind of still has not sunk in but I am trying to celebrate the freedom that we have to live here and worship the Lord freely. I am conveying that to the boys. I think my husband does realize this too.

All I can say is 3 years and 1 month today a precious part of my heart disappeared to heaven and is missed every day, and more during these 'happy' times of year. Reach out and touch someone physically or with a phone call this week who has lost a precious loved one, or even those who have lost a job or home. They need to know they are important. Don't try to tell them everything will be okay, as sometimes it is not. Sometimes it takes a very long time for life to turn around and be okay.

Thanks for hearing my heart today. Brendon we miss you and we love you darling. Your smile will live in my heart forever.

Change, change and More Change

It has been a very busy month for us. We have experienced lots of running around to swimming and tennis lessons, park dates with our Homeschool friends, a fabulous ride on Thomas the Tank Engine in Connersville, In and also some changes.

The church that we were attending is now closed. The pastor felt led to close the church down for various reasons. It has been a difficult two weeks adjusting to the thought of not seeing folks who we have become friends with over the last 3 years. This church is also the last place where Brendon attended services before he passed away. The thought of not being in touch regularly is difficult as that is a way for us to remember Brendon. People say they will never forget him but I do know from experience that does not last.

My husband and I are on a new journey now to find a church home which is a family orientated church. To us, that means a place where the children are in the service with us and not separated. I believe the children are supposed to be with their parents as their teachers and monitor what they are receiving from others. That is hard to do if you are not in the same room as the child!

We have been a family that is careful what our children watch on TV, Video and DVD, and where they go on the Internet. I have noticed my children are aware of more of the sin that is around them than I thought. My oldest has pointed out that David and Bathsheba definitely did the wrong thing before getting married. Now it looks like I am going to have to look into some early adolescence counselling and training.

My grief journey is very slow at the moment. I go over one hump and back over two. I know I am progressing but ever so slowly and then I get frustrated with that. I have made a start on the book that I am writing, its on paper for right now and will transfer to the computer sometime. Yes I do know that heaven is going to be manifested soon and so will be the opportunity to see my child there, but I am living every day with a huge gap in my home that I am still getting used to.

We are due to have a family vacation sometime soon, whilst also praying in anticipation for Walt's step-mom who is going through the final stages of fighting ovarian cancer. We do not know when she will pass on but we are thinking it may be sooner than we thought. I do not like attending funerals at the moment but at least we have talked a few times on the phone and she seems to be okay. Some days are harder for her than others. She does live on her own. Please pray for Pat that she would not have pain but that when it comes time she would recognize the Lord's angel sent for her.

All these changes are taking place during a very hot and sweltering summer through which we continue to homeschool and enjoy the outdoor activities later in the day or earlier in the morning. I miss my work with the Homeschool crew but know that is was for a season, just like our church, and we are moving into a new stage of our lives.

My desire for the rest of this year is to not get caught up in the necessary evil of everyday tasks but to enjoy each day for itself. My boys would love it if I would not be so sticky to the schedule...especially on those cool summer days we could play outside all day. We look forward to a week of VBS with friends coming up and no school for those days. Thank you for your continued prayers over our family and our ever changing hearts.

Happy Birthday Bubby Boo- Andrew!

It is my dear sweet little guys birthday. He is three today and was born rather quickly or slowly. We went into labor after being side swiped in a hit and run accident on the main raod home from the hospital. Our sweet second son was in there for his stem cell transplant. We knew that the baby would be born close to the stem cell transplant time but not in the way he was. Some of you who read this blog know our story and some don't.

I went into labor as a result of the accident and then Andrew was born about 20 hours later. it was a very long night. He was due a few days later though. Thankfully I was almost 9 months along. He has been a wonderful blessing to our family. Some days we just wonder what life was like without him. He is so like his brother "B" that has passed away. He also just inherited all of B's Thomas Train set, and all his little cars. We have kept these up and put away for at least a year and now are ready to see them used again. I think Andrew is truly blessed by all that his brother left behind for him. Even days before he died Brendon was giving away his stuffed animals and toys to his two brothers, almost like he did know he was not staying on earth but graduating to heaven.

That is a hard thing to imagine that a 5 year old knows that kind of stuff. I will never understand but as I read today in my little Grief book " We are never promised freedom from flood and fire, from any kind of disaster, or freedom from death. What god is promising here is that we do not walk through these terrors alonge and that, diffiult as they are , they will not destroy us."

The Lord sent us a blessing ahead of time and he is so precious. Hold your little ones just a little bit longer each night.

Spring is Welcome Here!

The month of April has been a nutty one. Of course it is spring and in the Midwest we have had some fantastic weather. There have also been some pretty soggy days and nights mixed into that month.

As far as reviews are concerned I am running about two weeks behind on them and still have Super Star Speech, Lesson Planet, Sue Gregg cooking and a few more to complete. My journey with the Old Schoolhouse Homeschool Review team for 2009/10 comes to an end during May. I am sad in some respects as it tested my ability to meet deadlines and work for someone else again, but I am also relieved that I will be able to dig into what I have received in more detail other than just skimming the surface. I could probably do with a few weeks off in the summer to do just that. Not quite sure that will happen.

Yesterday we travelled to French Lick, Indiana to visit the Indiana Railway Museum and French Lick Scenic Railway(http://www.indianarailwaymuseum.org/ ). This is a trip we have done before with Daniel and Brendon when they were younger and before Brendon was diagnosed with cancer. It is 5 years since we visited there. It did bring back some sweet and some bitter memories. The countryside is beautiful and the train goes through a 2200 foot tunnel which makes it really dark for about a whole minute. Children hold their breath and the adults make it almost impossible to believe the darkness will go away, and then whoosh we are in the light again. Andrew loved the ride and slept well most of the way home! The picture up above was Brendon travelling on this train in September 2005.

No I am not getting paid to showcase them either but if you live close to this spot, the train does go more often in the summer and children love the ride. It is not too long and even fun. Be prepared for them to try to sell some snacks and drinks on board to raise money for a purchase of a new steam engine though for the railway.

It was terrific to have a family day together in spite of the rain, and you know what, Daniel prayed for the rain to only continue once our train ride was over. As we drove out the parking lot it started to rain! Thank you Lord for honoring my child's simple honest prayer from heart.

The Lord does honor our prayers even as adults. Sometimes we do not like the way He answers. Why did my child not get healed and another across the country seems to be doing okay. I do not know all of that. I don't think I could love my Lord if He was just like me. He is all powerful, all consuming and all loving. We can not 'not' question Him about things but He does not choose to answer all of our questions.

The Lord is also teaching me to "Judge not, lest you be judged." I do not want to get to the gates of heaven and be turned away because of a bitter and contrite heart. I have a few heart issues I am working on, and unfortunately they are not weekly or monthly things, but daily confrontations. Forgiveness is so hard for humans and we have to be willing to humble ourselves and basically 'suck it up." I do not understand either why friends, family, neighbors or associates make decisions that they do but it is not for me to interfere, talk about or judge. Biting my tongue has become a frequent thing to do. That hurts.

I am giving you my heart today which I do not do often if you know me well. I am praying for more children to be welcomed in our home, I do not think it is possible at this age, but for God who knows what is in store for tomorrow!

I have journeyed here from Zimbabwe, Africa and He has been a constant companion in my life whether I was single, married and now a Mom. He is the friend who sticks closer than a brother and I sure do need Him on a minute by minute basis.

We get to celebrate our little guy Andy's 3rd birthday this week and we are so blessed by his life. He is learning to talk better daily and is excited to get all the 'Thomas' stuff that he is hoping for. We will see what the Birthday 'man' brings for him to unwrap!

Now I have to another review so will post that later today. May the Lord bring you peace and joy for the rest of today.

"The joy of the Lord is my strength."

Pilgirm Study, Hasty Pudding and Christmas Tomorrow

We have recently wound up our studies until January and so completed our study of the Pilgrims. We were using a Pocket Book that a friend had given us and with all the crafty ideas and hands on work my 8 year old has some idea on how these folks struggled. At the end of the study on how the Pilgrims ate we got to make some Hasty Pudding. Well as I was making this I was testing it's texture along the way. some not so fond memories of my high school in Zimbabwe where I boarded I used to eat cornmeal Porridge or as it is called in pilgrim days Hasty Pudding. It consists of cornmeal and water cooked up together and with a sweetener added. We put some Maple Syrup and Agave syrup into our 'pudding' and proceeded to eat. The Hasty Pudding pic is at the top of this post!

The 8 year old student whopped down the first bowl and said how good it was but the second bowl was a struggle. Perhaps he is realizing their food is not so appetizing. Perhaps the sweet potatoes and/or pumpkin dishes done over Christmas will be better for him to stomach.

As far as our family life goes. School some days is extremely hard to accomplish. A toddler in the mix makes for less concentration on the older child's part and so less gets down. I do get really down on myself and him because we don't seem to be accomplishing much in this area and yet he is still learning. Our toddler seems to finally be getting some of his words pronounced better and so I am worrying less about his speech or lack of understandable language.

We miss our dear sweet Brendon so much around this time of year. He loved lights, trees and of course presents too. He loved to sing Christmas carols too. We have some short videos of him in 2007 singing in our children's Christmas production. These bring a smile to our faces. i also found a video taken in 2005 when he was 2 1/2 of the boys singing in front of the Christmas tree which was surrounded by presents, and they were both full of mischief whilst we were trying to photograpgh and film them. I am glad I have these to look back at in the years to come.

I do see on any blogs that folks have moved on in their grief and I am glad for them. We seem to be slower at this but thankfully that is ok. It is alright for us to cry often and remember him with both tears and smiles. He was an inspiration to our whole family and many others. I know my pastor hardly goes through a day without thinking of Brendon and how courageous he was. (and cute too.) Looking at the little guy (now 2 1/2) we are still doing comparisons because they look like each other so much. He is truly a gift sent from heaven even if a challenging one!

We do currently have one runny nos toddler, a sick, feverish 8 year old and an exhausted Daddy due to delivering all those packages and mail before Christmas. Pray for our family to be healthy enough tomorrow to enjoy ourselves a little bit. Thanks.

We do wish you friends and family worldwide a very Merry Christmas and are thankful we get to sing Happy Birthday to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ first. We would not be able to get through a day without His love and grace in our lives.

Break time for Mum and Dad

After a long time of being married, all of 12 years my husband and I took a very short 2 day vacation last week to Kentucky. It was a good break for us in that we only had to think of each other and not what each little person needed every moment of the day. Our children were being well taken care of and loved where they were.

We were very tired ourselves and did a lot of sleeping, some hiking and some reading. I, of course had some Homeschooling books in my lap during this time. I had no access to the Internet so was not able to cruise at all. I am tossing around some ideas on what to teach my 8 year old son, and what I am using does not seem to be going in his head much, or staying there. We are working on a Football Unit Study which we have put together ourselves with a little help from a friend in Florida. It is holding his interest more than any other subjects right now. Doing formal language and grammar just does not spark him at all but when we sit down and talk about Peyton Manning, the Indianapolis Colts, or the Bengals or perhaps the New York Giants he is all ears. He remembers who did what to whom in which game, and sometimes has to go look it up on the Internet under our watchful eye. He loves to watch replays of games over and over. I can't for the life of me understand why but perhaps this is something I will use to get him to do some timelines on each team's history and perhaps players and owners too. History, geography, lots of writing and some research thrown in and he is all for it. I personally still don't understand the game of course!

I am spending quite a few hours these days reviewing alternative curriculums and searching my heart and the Lord's will on which direction to go. A Charlotte Mason attitude with real books and not too many sit down and write lessons are attracting me, as well as finding someone who puts this altogether for me in a package and I just follow it. Our lives are so crazy with grief counselling, toddlers running through the house and a big guy who makes noise wherever he goes I need something simple and easy to follow! Anyone have any ideas for that one - let me know.

Following this post will be a review of another Spelling program and website that I have been looking at over the past 6 weeks.

Fall and Grieving

We have recently passed the one year anniversary of our son's death from Medulloblastoma cancer. After hearing from a friend up in Northern Indiana that her daughter is still doing well and has recurrence of the same cancer, I sit in wonder. I can only ponder on all the what if this and that and then I think that Brendon is doing better than he probably would be on earth. He has a big home and a whole body too. He has lots of friends that are with him all the time and he is allowed to play with whoever he wants, whenever he wants. His life in heaven is spent praising the Lord most likely.

We visited the cemetery on the anniversary of his death even though it was bucketing down rain here in Indy. It sort of reflected the mood that we had been feeling for a few days already. The boys are trying to get along with each other but that is a challenge. My oldest is fighting school every day but does really well when he applies himself to it. I have a natural love of learning but I think some boys have a love for goofing around, and trying to get out of work in every way they can.

Our family is struggling on a daily basis still to develop new normals. Holiday season this year will still be a challenge as we remember our last Christmas with Brendon in 2007 was so much fun! I had better sign off as this is causing me to tear up again. Please continue to pray for our family when you can. We so appreciate that!

My goodness it is a while since I posted. My son D and I have been gearing up to start school. We have been leanring HTML still and not quite got it down yet! We have been practicing Math with some software that encourages the child to better their score each time they play.

We attended our sons grieving classes last night and he has a blast. We as parents go to another room and talk about our children that are still living and how they are coping, as well as how we face those continuous questions about how we are doing. Losing a child is one of the worst things I have ever experienced in my whole life so far. My husband and I do not understand why the Lord did not choose to heal Brendon, but are coming to terms with the fact that God knew B would only be here for 5 short years and packed as much as he could into that time. We would have done lots more fun stuff with him his last summer if we really truly knew he was going to die. We would have had more fun trips to fun places he liked to go like the zoo, and the Indiana State Museum. Possibly a trip to the Creation Museum in Cincinnati. We will probably visit there in the fall this year.

I am planning a possible balloon release for the 12th September. This is one of the days in September that will be recognized as Childrens Pediatric Cancer awareness day. We will go to the cemetary in the early evening and release some balloons with Brendon's site on it and www.curesearch.org written on it. Curesearch is an organization dedicated to doing research on all kinds of pediatric cancers without any government involvement. Of course they are getting further with their research than other cancer societies right now. I want to make people aware of how common childhood cancer is becoming and we need to raise money for research as well as taking care of some of the families who can not turn to alternative medicine like we did as they can't afford it. With the new health care bill there may be something introduced where if a child with cancer is not going to live longer than 6 months then no more treatments will be offered to the family. It is not cost effective as this person will no longer have a positive effect on the society in the future. I did not want my child to be just a number, but he was a living, breathing person and not an experiment.

If you can not make it to the cemetary in Indiana from where you are at then release a balloon from your backyard by all means with Brendon's name and caringpage site written on it. perhaps someone will find the balloon and become aware of this situation and learn something new as well as contribute. I will post more later today on the products we are reviewing for Homeschool.

Prayer Request for family Grieving Today

I just wanted to ask some of my readers if they can pray for a family in Clyde, Ohio. Today this family lost their 11 year old daughter Alexa to brain cancer. She has been fighting for 3 1/2 years. Here is the link to their site : www.caringbridge.org/visit/alexabrown

I am grieving once again not only for their daughter as well as for my own son who was so sweet and so precious. Thanks - Hug you little ones more often as each day passes!

VBS, Hank the cow Dog and Sue Gregg cooking

I have been busy this last week in the evenings toting my two boys to a local church for a VBS program. It was wild. The church had the basement turned into a cave, the upstairs sanctuary decorated with all kinds of rock formations made out of cardboard, and playing squishyball outside to get rid of energy. It was called Sun Rock Kids Camp. Daniel had an awesome time and wanted it to carry on for another few weeks. I told him the Camp counselors were very tired too and definitely could not do this for another three weeks. He did not really have time to make friends but we did find out another homeschooling family we know from that church are moving in the fall to Eastern Europe to start serving on the mission field. They are moving to a secular environment but will be a light in a dark place.

I also would like to pray for a friend of mine Joanna C who has been battling breast cancer recently. She originally got sick with heaps of allergies 4 or 5 years ago when they discovered mold growing in the crawl space of their home at that time. Joanna, her husband and her 2 children all got terribly sick and have never really recovered totally since that time. The children are allergic to all kinds of foods and so never 'eat out' like most of us do, it is not worth the reactions to the foods. Joanna and her husband have the most amazing ministry as Pastors in their church and I am asking for prayer for the whole family, for her Doctors in Chicago and for the church family that are their support right now. Thanks.

I am currently reviewing some material for the Homeschool Crew on Hank the Cow Dog and some web page designing curriculum, as well as some healthy food recipes from Sue Gregg's website at http://www.suegregg.com/. She has lots of neat ideas on how to make your family's diet healthier all around. Drop on by her site and see if you feel inspired. I will be writing my reviews later this week for you all to read.

I am also looking at a few counseling options that have come up for my son to help him with his grief and anger issues over the death of his brother. I can not even imagine how this is in his mind, only my own. I am grieving and he does not know how/what to work through first. if things don't go his way he just gets outright mad! There are a few places in Indiana that may be able to help us out, one very expensive and the other on a donation basis.

I have to go now and prepare breakfast so we can scoot to church and say goodbye to one of our couples who are leaving to go to Honduras to serve on the mission field in a school and orphanage there for a year. Have a great Sunday at church and encourage your pastor for his job is a really tough one. He works 24/7 like all Moms do!!!

Summer days are buzzing by!

I have just realized it has been almost 12 days since I updated. Other homeschooling Moms do this just about every day. I just returned from a small town south of Indianapolis where I have left my oldest son to stay with good friends for a few days. He needs the interaction with other older boys who are in to the same stuff as him, as well as the wide open spaces that 15 acres of land offers! I do thank the Lord for these opportunities for him to do. I am also preparing him for a grief camp that he will get to attend later in August. This will help him cope some more with losing his brother. He has loads of anger related issues every day and some times just can not work himself around those tantrums.

In our mail box this morning we found some Hank the Dog items to be reviewed which includes a book and a board game. It should be interesting as my son has already taken an interest in the game of course. We are gradually learning HTML code for making web pages and we are both excited to see what we can do on this Blog in the future.

My little one loves playing in the paddle pool in the backyard, minus the bee stings he keeps getting! We have heaps of clover out in the yard and bees just love clover! His bee sting is healing with the help of the wonderful Essential Oils I have on hand. He loves to be outside like his ^^angel ^^ brother did too. Sunshine and water are both excellent for your health of course.

I am examining my health as my eating habits have slipped somewhat recently and so exercise and my greener diet are the goals for my days next week, as well as putting together a Unit Study on Trains. There are some available on the Internet already put together but I want to see if it is possible to do with all the resources I already have in my home. If anyone knows of a good resource or book for putting togehter a Unit study let me know - thanks.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend. I know in the Midwest it is going to be glorious and low humidity. I am looking forward to some one on one with my toddler tomorrow! Get out and support your local farmers at the Farmers Market near you or just to meet some new people who are growing healthy food for you to try out!