Family Crisis again

For those who are wondering why I have not updated in forever on here it is due to the fact that my husband's cancer has got a lot worse. He is more than Stage 4 now and is on palliative pain medicine and care basically by a home care nurse.

He is waiting on a new drug which is ready to ship to us but my husband has jaundice really bad. He is having difficulties using the bathroom too and the plumbing is just not working right. We are still homeschooling a little bit each day through the situation.

Please go to this link if you want to stay abreast of the situation. Thanks.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brendonknight


Enjoy the fall
Julie

Can you Cope with Crisis?

Today and this week I am struggling. Struggling with the inability to do all the things that I am supposed to do in my job, as a wife and Homeschool Mom. My heart is definitely floating outside my body today.

I do not get on my knees too often, (but choose to pray whilst being active), but it seems that I need to do this very often recently. Sometimes I end up taking a nap when in that position too. Don't laugh, or smile - yes you have probably done that once or twice too.

I am grasping with the how, why us again, why now, wait until my boys are grown up, can I handle this all now. That's right, it is not up to us to handle. Life is a journey sometimes short and sometimes long but mostly just right in length. When I think of beautiful places , usually they involve mountains, waterfalls, deserts, hills, lots of busyness of nature criss-crossing each other. Well I think life is like that for us too.

Crisis has been a part of my life for at least 7 years now. I mean major life happenings. Firstly the diagnosis with cancer in our son, then for 2 years fighting that with him, then grief for a very, very long time; and now cancer again. All the "what if's " hang in the air unspoken each day between my husband and I.  Physically it is difficult to hold each other arm in arm as it is uncomfortable for him. Being able to comfort each other emotionally is hard too - as I'm sure you can imagine.

I ask God to heal and to do that miracle right before our eyes and then I think, well maybe it will take a while. Do I now have enough faith or belief? Yes I do. I know God can do this. He has done it before and He can do it again.  God you are not moving fast enough, well, some days He just does not do that. Lord Jesus, Holy Spirit wrap me in Your arms and strengthen me. I am so thankful for the Word of God, it comforts , strengthens and lifts my spirit to rejoice.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above Ye Heavenly Hosts,
Praise Father, Son and Holy Ghost."

The doxology is always a comfort to me and a reminder of so much we need to be thankful for. Share with me in the comments how you cope with continuous crisis?
Julie

Treatment options Changed Again

My husbands scans did not come back free and clear, and obviously we knew that would happen too. His tumor is the size of a baseball or softball now. There is however no spread of cancer anywhere else in the body.

Here is an update however on our Caringbridge site for those who are really interested and have not already seen this update through Facebook.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/brendonknight/journal

I am reading Mrs Ann Voskamp's blog daily as there is so much in there to keep me turning to my Bible and reading what God's way is. The Bible not the blog are keeping me hanging onto Jesus.  (http://www.aholyexperience.com/ )

I do believe in healing and that God's word works. He has healed before and He can do it again.

Believe with us for the Lord's mighty hand to reach into Walt's body and heal thoroughly whether it be slow or instantly. Thank you for loving us from afar dear friends.

Be blessed and worship in the Lord's house on Sunday if you can.

Julie

Hello again friends

2/26/2014

Today is a new day. I am thankful each day is new with new mercies and God’s Grace is New every morning and not just once a week. 

This year we have been studying the Olympics since mid-January. This has opened my eyes to many situations that athletes have to overcome to become an Olympian. Instead of just being an athlete they also have a family and a life outside of their sport. They face long and sometimes grueling practice schedules, falls, injuries, and probably sometimes the temptations to give up.  I am amazed at how much we have learned through Amanda Bennett’s Unit Study (http://unitstudy.com/Olympics2014.html) for the Sochi 2014 Olympics, as well as using printables from the internet and the http://www.sochi2014.com/en/olympic website.  Knowledge Box  (http://www.currclick.com/product/89369/2014-Winter-Olympics-Lapbook)  gave us some wonderful information in a condensed format so we have a combination study of Unit Study and lapbook all-in-one.

Many days I am tempted in some ways to not want to Homeschool, but when I get to the end of a study or week and review in conversation with the boys what they have really learned I am glad we have the freedom to homeschool and right now, can decide what/how to learn.

Our family has not had it easy since 2000. We have experienced many losses. It makes me open up my Bible and read through the Old Testament where many men and women lost precious children, spouses, parents at varying stages of their lives. Some reacted and some responded to that loss.  I want to choose to respond and not react. I want the Holy Spirit to be so much a part of my every action, especially those when it involves interaction with the boys and family. That is definitely not so right now, so I will continue working on that point. I will try not to strive but to just change one moment at a time.

The Lord has been working on our family relationships with one another and maintaining an atmosphere of peace. Well in a home with boys who are bouncing off the walls, as well as the basketballs and footballs bouncing, that is a hard task.  God certainly created the family unit to prune our characters and I suppose that is going to bring out the best and worst in our individual characters. Yes I do know this already. Wow Cain and Able sure battled against each other it seemed and that did not end well. Jacob and Esau are a good example of this rivalry too. Character work is one of the toughest issues I have dealt with in my own and my son’s lives.

Today we ended our study of the Olympics by listening to one of the Lamplighter’s audios called “Charlie’s Choice.”  Charlie made numerous choices in his life that affected the direction of where his life would go and eventually end up. His most important choice came after studying the Bible and deciding to let God and Jesus, be the Captain of his life. This made me re-think my decision about who is directing my life.  There seems to be only one way to me. My question today after all my ramblings is this…some text taken from “Charlie’s Choice.”  (http://store.lamplighter.net/da---charlies-choice---dramatic-audio-cd-p67.aspx  )

“A true hero has the strength to listen to what his Captain commands” said Charlie.

Is your Captain your Heavenly Father, your God – your calling?” (Me)

The book shop owner said, “When God blesses there is no sorrow attached. Focus on               what you do have, not on what you don’t have.  The most important journey in life is not                 about what you can get but about what you become.”

            “The goals you set for tomorrow shape who you are today.”

My calling as a wife and mother is to serve Him, the Captain of my life.  To love my husband and my boys with everything I can and to train the boys the best I can with God’s help. Thanks for listening.