Today I begin again to share thoughts and feelings and ideas from our crazy Blended family life. Whilst reading over the previous years journals I have discovered a pattern about me. I do procrastinate more now than ever. I have deep desires to help others and to serve Jesus in various ways that I can figure out, but also see that He has had me serve in places I did not want to be. Those are the places that seem to do the most changing in my heart and life.
My word for the Year for 2019 was as follows
"BE DIFFERENT
BE REAL
BE THERE FULLY"
Well I think that looking over my personal journals from 2019 this phrase empowered me some days, but most of the time I was fighting all the memories and all the situations that I could not control. Being there fully is not being in control. Being there for your family and the Lord fully is really and truly allowing God to place you in a situation or taking the place where you are, and to be pliable and soft and gentle, and adaptable to that situation.
I heard this on the radio one day.
"If being a Christian was a crime would there be enough evidence to use against you" No I do not know who shared that as it was way over a year ago since I heard it. I am convicted again because there would be no evidence to convict me at all.
I also was able to watch the new movie that came out in November called "Overcomer" produced by the Kendrick brothers. I have since watched this movie at least three times. Some days I want to take up running but know for me physically that is just not possible and ridiculous. the main Scripture shared in the movie is about how Christ sees you and how do you see yourself as a result and you can Overcome any situation with the realization of how Christ really sees you.
Ephesians 1 was a Scripture I read over and over.
He chose Me before the world began.
He pre-destined me.
He adopted me as His daughter.
He gives me grace.
I've been one of the walking wounded in the past but Christ is in me. He lives in Me. He sees me as important, beautiful, smart, funny and talented. I do have something to say and I do have a purpose in this world and my new to me family. It is a daily search or let me re-phrase - a daily waiting on the suddenlies of God. The Holy Spirit reminds me often that surrendering situations like celebrations, kids going to Overnight birthday parties in gyms, and everyday order in the home and letting Him have control when my day is re-organized. I need to allow my brain to be re-wired by the Lord's gifts of the Word, confession of His Word over my day early before I even rise, and leaning into HIm and His peace through every hour.
My word for 2020 is NEW HOME 2020. I am seeking Him as to what this all about as the literal sense of it would be a new physical building. Christ wants to build a new Home within me. That's where we will begin.
Enjoy your Day.
